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“I vividly remember bringing our daughter to nursery school for the first time. My wife and I were so apprehensive at the idea of leaving this little thing by herself for a whole two and a half hours. That morning, the family walked to the school with a great ceremony, our daughter Abeline in her crisp new floral dress. When we arrived, there were already a dozen kids there, half of them screaming and hanging on to their parents’ jackets.

After we spent an hour playing with all the toys available, we reached the fateful moment of separation. We kissed her good-bye and snuck out, but we didn’t get very far: We looked back to see our little Abeline’s blond curly head banging on the window and ended up going back in and joining a happy group of kids and parents singing “The Wheels on the Bus.” We wanted to show Abeline how much fun she could have, so much fun that we ended up staying there all morning and the next morning too.”

– Dr. Michel Cohen

The very first day of school for younger children always generates a little bit of fussing; it’s a later but lesser form of the same separation anxiety that shows up at eight or nine months. Some kids will have it the first time you leave them in school; others may take a few sessions.

For older kids, going back to school can be a joyful, but stressful time. As the freedom of summer is fading away, your child is charging forth into unknown territory, where they will be challenged in new, exciting ways! The risk of COVID can also add an additional stressor into their lives, but there are some simple ways that you can make the inevitable back-to-school transition a little easier.

Departure followed by a return

The best way to drop your child off at school for the first time is to stay for a few minutes and then leave promptly. The message you send when you leave confidently is that you approve of the place, and you approve of leaving them there, no matter how heartbroken you are.

If you try to avoid the unease by prolonging your stay or over-explaining the process, you’ll only raise your child’s suspicion and anxiety. When you come back a few hours later, they’ll begin to understand that every departure is followed by a return. They’ll also start to have a great time.

Reinforcing good memories

Discussing the positive aspects of school can help reinforce good memories in an anxious child’s mind. Remind them that they will see their old friends, and remind them of all the fun things they will do in school. Focus on talking about those classes that they really enjoy.

You should validate their feelings of nervousness, while reminding them that many students feel uneasy about the first day. This may help them feel less alone.

Sleep

A couple of weeks before school, start your child on a sleep schedule that mimics their school-night schedule. This will help them more gracefully transition when school starts, especially when there is more excitement surrounding their routine. Replace phone or TV time with a calming wind-down routine. This could involve a warm bath or shower, some light reading, or setting out their clothes for the next day.

Maintaining good sleep hygiene is essential to your child’s ability to focus, participate, and even handle difficult situations in school.

COVID-related anxiety

While more and more age groups are getting vaccinated, we recognize that COVID is still very much a risk and a source of anxiety. COVID understandably may cause fear and unease in kids and families returning to school this year.

The best thing you can do to ease your child’s anxiety is to stay informed on reducing transmission. Be honest with your child, but always try to provide age-appropriate information. It’s important that you keep them informed, without scaring them.

Face coverings are generally optional for students in early childhood schools or programs. Anyone who chooses to wear a face covering may continue to do so. Your child may request a mask from their school or program.

Make sure your child understands their school’s mask policy. Practice talking to them about how they may approach masking in school.

Support

If your child is experiencing extreme distress, anxiety, or dread that is impacting their ability to learn, communicate, or stick to a healthy routine, their pediatrician is always there to support them.

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Source:
“Back-to-School Tips,” from Healthychildren.org by the American Academy of Pediatrics